so I can pretend someone is listening

Stop the world, I want to get off

Yesterday was good and bad.  Good because I got to see Dick and spend the day with Mom.  Bad because I did all that at the hospital.  When I got there I had to go to the ICU to visit him, which frankly gives me a bad case of PTSD.  More on that tomorrow.  He was awake and alert and seemed glad to see me.  I said, “Hey, it’s My Favorite Martian!” because with the big drain tube sticking out of his head, this is what he looked like, except for the orange sky and green sparkly shirt:

He liked my joke about needing to go to the hospital like he needed another hole in his head.  Then he fell asleep in mid-sentence.  Being sick is hard work.  Being that sick is very hard.  Later on, they took the tube out because it wasn’t doing any good.  So for now, we wait.  What are we waiting for?  Honestly, he’s not ever going to be better.  Barring some miracle, which I know can happen, he will be as sick as he is now until he dies.  And that sucks.

In light of life sucking today, it is a minimal homeschool day, a minimal housework day, a minimal thought day.  It is an I-wish-I-could-trade-places-with-someone day.  I want to go outside and lay in the tall, tall grass, feel the warm sunshine and just look up at the blue sky and pretend that nothing else exists.  But the ground is cold and wet, the grass isn’t very tall and the sky is cloudy.  Life as it is exists.  The kitchen is horrible after me being gone for 3 days in a row.  It seems that children forget how to do chores unless you are there to supervise.  But I don’t want to nag them today.  I want to be like Ferdinand, at the end of the story.  If only for a while.  Maybe later.  Maybe tomorrow.


April 22, 2010 Posted by | Sick, Uncategorized | , | Leave a comment

Yet Another

fine china

Another morning, another cup of coffee, another oatmeal scone (and probably another after that), and another trip to another big city today.  This one, not so much fun.  My step-dad, Dick, is in the hospital again.  His health issues are numerous, and this time he’s in because his brain is being bad.  He has a bleed going on and last night they did brain surgery to put in a couple drains to relieve pressure.  This is tough on my Mom, naturally, so I’m going to go up to Olympia and hang out with her today at the hospital.  After two days off the farm this week already, I’m behind on EVERYTHING I’m supposed to be doing and this is going to put me even farther back, but you can’t exactly schedule things like this now can you?

muddy track to the manure shed

One of my huge character defects is that when I get stressed, everything gets funny.  In a really sick sort of way.  Like today, I know when I see my step-dad, I’m going to say, “Hey, Dick, you needed another trip to the hospital like you needed a hole in your head!”  Good thing he’s known me for 25 years and has had that long to learn to ignore me.  (Unlike you, poor thing.)  Sarcasm and sick humor are like a reflex in me, I don’t need to generate them, they just come pouring out.  Like 2 years ago when my then-79-year-old father-in-law, in a freak accident, got knocked off his tractor which then proceeded to run him over.  He got up and walked away from it, I kid you not, pretty sore for a couple of weeks and quite humble, but otherwise unscathed.  Once I found out he was going to be OK, I was so relieved!  Then, a song ran through my head which I unwisely shared with my husband, who, at the time, didn’t think it was very funny though he’s mildly amused by it now.  You know the old Christmas classic “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer”?  My head turned it into “Harold Got Run Over by a Tractor”, and it would have been even better if we were John Deere people (“Harold Got Run Over by a John Deere”) but we’re International people.  *sigh* 

So today I’m really going to try to rein it in, and if he’s doing bad there won’t be any use for humor.  I do have some manners.  I hope today is kind to you, as I hope it is kind to me and mine.  I hope he’s doing so well that tomorrow I can stay home and catch up on everything, like making laundry soap.  I’m almost out.  I’ll just tell everyone to not get dirty until this settles down.  My parting shot:


April 21, 2010 Posted by | Sick | , , , , | Leave a comment