so I can pretend someone is listening

Stop the world, I want to get off

Yesterday was good and bad.  Good because I got to see Dick and spend the day with Mom.  Bad because I did all that at the hospital.  When I got there I had to go to the ICU to visit him, which frankly gives me a bad case of PTSD.  More on that tomorrow.  He was awake and alert and seemed glad to see me.  I said, “Hey, it’s My Favorite Martian!” because with the big drain tube sticking out of his head, this is what he looked like, except for the orange sky and green sparkly shirt:

He liked my joke about needing to go to the hospital like he needed another hole in his head.  Then he fell asleep in mid-sentence.  Being sick is hard work.  Being that sick is very hard.  Later on, they took the tube out because it wasn’t doing any good.  So for now, we wait.  What are we waiting for?  Honestly, he’s not ever going to be better.  Barring some miracle, which I know can happen, he will be as sick as he is now until he dies.  And that sucks.

In light of life sucking today, it is a minimal homeschool day, a minimal housework day, a minimal thought day.  It is an I-wish-I-could-trade-places-with-someone day.  I want to go outside and lay in the tall, tall grass, feel the warm sunshine and just look up at the blue sky and pretend that nothing else exists.  But the ground is cold and wet, the grass isn’t very tall and the sky is cloudy.  Life as it is exists.  The kitchen is horrible after me being gone for 3 days in a row.  It seems that children forget how to do chores unless you are there to supervise.  But I don’t want to nag them today.  I want to be like Ferdinand, at the end of the story.  If only for a while.  Maybe later.  Maybe tomorrow.


April 22, 2010 Posted by | Sick, Uncategorized | , | Leave a comment